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No one's going to listen if you don't shout. This calls for a proper smoke. MISS TRUNCHBULL Agatha Trunchbull: Look, I don't suppose we could exchange it for a boy, could we? Use the rod, beat the child, that's my motto. But I didn't do anything. pregnant! . An epic compilation of the funniest ultimate pickup lines compilation from TikTok that you will ever watch!For the best TikTok compilations be sure to subscr. That makes me so happy. The desks descend into the ground. Isn't there something you can do? No one's gonna care if you don't care, [She exits down the steps and stops behind the first portion of the audience.] Well, a man is entitled to come home and find dinner on the table, without having to wait for a convention of male strippers! NIGEL, TOMMY I did not! Didn't we? [Harry walks down to the kitchen, unaware that his hair has just turned an unhealthy platinum blonde] Matilda: Stand up and be proud! [He laughs then peters out.] We never thought it was possible, His fingie. Who you been talking to? It's very quaint, it's very sweet, Useless, flamin' car! Mum, would you like to hear a story? The scene changes to the Wormwood's living room. abilities. In other words, a pick-up line is an icebreaker or a conversation opener. . Harry Wormwood: Sued by who? I did *not* glue my hat to my head! so we manage all lists in categories just go to the table of content in our article and find your needed pickup lines from the article. What? With powers, the carrot flies into his mouth. Harry Wormwood: All right! You In my class, that is, er, there is a little girl called Matilda Wormwood. I have all these extra. She'll call a truce, Bruce. I love my school it isn't fair! You? You'll be punished so severely if you step out of line. So innocent I (R) asked a thousand questions, Every life I bring into this world "So I hear you are the Head Girl of your house". The great feat was instantly forgotten, and the applause went on for nearly an hour. | If,1,null Matilda Pick Up Lines. ". Crowd! Matilda: [he, Zinnia, and Mikey glance at the paper, then at Matilda] I'm not hinting, but if you did happen to have a story you wanted . [talks to the woman librarian] When the sun comes up, And I will watch cartoons until my eyes go square - CHILDREN - And I won't care 'Cause I'll be all grown up. Glad I never was one. Oil of Violets hair tonic. Ev-er-y life is unbelievably unlikely. So she's learned a few tricks. I think you'll want your trousers loose. in . . Please. Five times two is ten. Million $ Sticky Host: Harry Wormwood: "Hi, My Name Is [insert name]." I'd say this one is the number one pick-up line of all time. What am doing here? Well it's hard for me to remember a specific cake. No one is as bold or tough as me. That's right, sir. Uh, welcome to Wormwood Motors. Then suddenly, the audience jumped to its feet and roared in appreciation! ], CHILDREN You're being pathetic! Indeed, sir. Oh! But I . MATILDA An audience cheers. They were written that way: BIG KID [TAMIKA] Boys and girls! Okay. MISS TRUNCHBULL Agatha Trunchbull: Mrs Wormwood, do you really have no idea? And honestly, I was really, definitely, sort of, almost thinking about owning up. These raunchy, inappropriate, dirty pick up lines probably won't make anyone fall madly in love with you but they will definitely earn you a laugh. Like Romeo and Juliet, Maybe you used some of mummy's peroxide by mistake. Where's his fingie? One hundred and fifty-five brand new luxury cars, sir. Their sadness overwhelmed them, and drew them into ever more dangerous feats, as their work became the only place they could escape the inescapable tragedy of their lives! Eat. A celebration of all the wonderful green things in the world, like, er, oh, like lettuce, and snot. MR WORMWOOD enters with a lackey, who sits on a tyre behind him. See more ideas about matilda quotes, matilda, quotes. CHILDREN This living 'ell. "Right"? Antibiotics, or . Sell me a lemon? MATILDA "It is where the loneliness of life has led us.". 6. Used to compete in the Olympics, throwing the hammer! MRS WORMWOOD And right now, we are eating dinner and watching TV! Here. ERIC, TOMMY, and BRUCE I'm the best! Because she's a spectacularly wonderful child and I love her. But that's not fair! Look at you hesitating. Agatha Trunchbull: . She's reading a book. MATILDA For those idiots out there who don't know how to play, here's how it goes. Where are the children's books? MRS PHELPS exits as a siren wails and the scene changes to Crunchem Hall Academy. Alternate Versions . her knickers stayed stuck to the seat! Crush that little weasel! MATILDA Matilda Wormwood! And another door closes. Jenny: They say she's lined it with nails, and spikes, and bits of broken glass. Yourself, Matilda? Son, one day, you're gonna have to earn your own living. My daddy says I would be the teacher's pet! Now, look. MRS PHELPS Every day starts with the tick of a clock. I shall pound you. . Harry Wormwood: Hmm. ;)Don't forget to SUBSCRIBE to our. She seems not to know that she's special at all. Another flaming book? 105 Cute Pick-Up Lines That'll Make Them Smile And Text You Back Melanie Gervasoni and Saimonas Lukoius Oh shoot, here we are again. My school is a model of discipline! But I'm a barrelina If you were a vegetable, you'd be a 'cute-cumber.'. The less you have to sell, the harder you sell it. Their furniture is wheeled off the stage and a hat rack with MR WORMWOOD's hat and an umbrella is brought center stage. And it isn't wide enough to sit. No, it's a library book! . What poem would that be? Last week, I read quite a few. My hands are tied. Your parents must be so proud to have a girl as clever as you. You gotta be loud! CHILDREN An extraordinary girl with a sharp mind and a vivid imagination takes a daring stand to change her story with miraculous results. Mrs. Wormwood: "A contract was signed to perform this feat, and perform this feat you shall! 2. Do you think I altered my intended elevation? And my very favorite is a spoonful of Nutella. There's nothing to fear. The cars will break down. Okay! And for the good of those - PUTRESCENT LITTLE CHILDREN! Oh, yeah? "I don't have any muggle money, but I do have a sickle and two knuts.". MATILDA Dosvedoo-dah. Is there still time for the Bi-Annual Inter-Championship Amateur Sausage . Finally, he grabs an individual page in glee. RUDOLPHO MATILDA Agatha Trunchbull: No, sir. queens! (Bruce!) [COUPLES Harry Wormwood: Well, Matilda Wormwood. This miracle . I mean . Trunchbull: My name is Miss Honey. Daughter of Mr Harry Wormwood who owns Wormwood Moturs. Oh, it's Miss Honey. RUDOLPHO It's going to be brilliant! MATILDA Narrator: A long table with the word "Birthday" emblazoned on it moves forward, with little hands creeping along the bottom. The BIG KIDS and CHILDREN scurry away. Jenny : Quite the contrary. You might as well be saying you think that it's okay, And remember to be eXtremely careful. Being funny or clever can also help your chances of success. Trunchbull: We have everything . Ten times two is twenty. Yesterday, she caught Julius Rottwinkle eating a gobstopper during science. Yes. I can pretend I'm an . I have the adoption papers. I'd love to meet her, actually . Harry Wormwood: Matilda's been here all morning. A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O, P, Q, R, S, T, U, V, W, X. What you know matters less MATILDA "Escapologist", he says! Of course you didn't do it, you little twit! I will not say anymore! And if it's not right, No, no, no, no [ad lib. Can you service me? green! And remember to be extremely careful. That I treated the rules with casual disdain? A few! MATILDA and ESCAPOLOGIST Tess of the D'urbervilles . Oh, my lovely hair! One should avoid confrontation when possible. Extra strong. Neigh! We can't leave valuable packages sitting out on the doorstep. And she keeps trying to tell me stories, Harry. You chose books. Don't be pathetic! Matilda: Life's a ball, so learn to throw it, MISS TRUNCHBULL Looks like rain. You spend us into trouble and you expect me to get us out. Matilda: . Stop me when this becomes true, but once upon a time, you and I went on a date. MR WORMWOOD You shall be . AAAAAAAHHHH! Look at you trying to hide, silly. Come on, move you piece of junkyard fodder! google_ad_host="pub-6693688277674466"; Agatha Trunchbull: That's all right, Jenny. MISS TRUNCHBULL and CHILDREN He'll probably think he's in bed when he wakes up. You're almost finished. 1. Do you think I would allow myself to be defeated by these maggots, do you? Do you ever lie down at night, look up at the stars and think about all the messed-up things in the world? Don't just stand there like a wet tissue. She opens a book. 3. 2. MR WORMWOOD Yes, sir. MAN: Don't put honey on your brother. A party entertainer enters with balloons. Some rats are gonna die today. MATILDA . Ah-ah-aah-ah Matilda! . The sooner you're locked up in that school, the better. I sold it for $7,839 big American boffo's. You didn't like the chokey, did you? ], [She turns and walks back to her desk. Get up, get up, get out of here, give me that book. Harry Wormwood: Let's leave maths for the time being . . Agatha Trunchbull: And that's not right! I think we'd better leave it there, Nigel. In the slip of a bolt, there's a tiny revolt. I'll tell you when you are full. Matilda: Filthy, nasty things. MRS WORMWOOD Get out of it! Mrs. Wormwood: [yells] [Miss Honey briefly nods yes as she leaves to rescue Matilda from the Chokey]. She then steps forward and hugs MISS HONEY tightly. A little less shh, a lot more schwing. So, what is it? No, but don't people need good cars? <> She daintily reaches up and captures a figurine of a woman throwing the hammer.]. A little less brains, a lot more hair. Cancelled, because my wife is . Photographs of my mother and father, and a beautiful doll my mother gave me with a china face. MRS WORMWOOD But to me, they tell a deeper story. Harry Wormwood: Not dressed in hospital cotton, MISS TRUNCHBULL All grown-ups get scared, just like children. You can't. That's why here I have compiled the sexiest and smart pick up lines to use on guys to make them interested in you! He rips out several pages and throws them dramatically on the ground. [Matilda comes home from school, excitedly. Does that mean I can get that new TV? . And always keep your feet inside the line! It was the biggest burp I had ever done. Dr. Seuss Pick Up Lines. To stand up and be proud! [Harry takes his first look at Matilda, grunts, and leaves]. He's over there, under those coats. Matilda: What've you done with his fingie? It's been clear there's no peer for a miracle like me. MRS WORMWOOD Have to admit NIGEL For being a smart aleck! MATILDA Look. Oops! A bell rings. Yeah! I . But I shan't enjoy it, because of the despicable way in which you have spoken to me tonight. Agatha Trunchbull, principal, Crunchem Hall Elementary School. Pizza is my second favorite thing that I eat in bed. . Miss Honey: We're not rich. Not a detail of my throw was adjusted or forgotten. And if it's not right, RUDOLPHO enters from behind a gap in the curtain behind her. . (Starts to go, but really this time) I'm going to put the newt in Trunchbull's jug! [comes up to her and Matilda stands up] "It is called," said the husband, announcing the event to the world's press, who had gathered to listen with bated breath [The voice of the ESCAPOLOGIST echoes her words.] [to MISS HONEY] You don't! endobj Your genius husband is going to sell them one hundred and fifty five knackered old bangers as brand-new luxury cars. 9:17, suspect exits domicile. Most parents believe their children are the most beautiful creatures ever to grace the planet. DOCTOR Me, me, me, me. You have brats yourself? . Well, I shall take your money when you earn it, and I shall spend it. The ESCAPOLOGIST starts to walk in from the back of the stage. That's not right. Every new life I thought grown-ups weren't afraid of anything. Agatha Trunchbull: What do I have to do to gain respect around here? My word is my law! This one was mine. DOCTOR . I swear, I won't take our love for granite. "'The Burning Woman, Hurling Through the Air, with Dynamite in Her Hair, over Sharks and Spiky Objects, Caught By the Man Locked in a Cage', and it is the most dangerous feat ever known to man! I'm not guilty! How can you be sure unless you have another PIECE? Oh, parle Italiano? Maybe I shouldn't tell you any more. [accusing Matilda of putting a newt in her drinking water] We're told we have to do what we're told, but surely, . A curtain is wheeled in with the words "5 YEARS AGO" painted on it. Babies! MRS WORMWOOD Matilda Wormwood! Sixteen times two is thirty-two. Looks are more important than books. The hat rack is taken away. Trunchbull: We never thought it was possible, Fifteen times two is thirty. Because basically a sentence is just a big bunch of words. MRS WORMWOOD And this . The library? Agatha Trunchbull: And good luck with the Tolstoy. Someone poured a whole can of syrup onto Trunchbull's chair. 101 Weird & Best Pick Up Lines For Girls (Make Them Laugh!) Tell me anywhere you'd like to go on a date. Four judges in outrageous costumes sit behind it. But the girl's aunt was a mean person, who treated the girl very badly. google_ad_height=90; Just because you find that life's not fair, it Yourself, Matilda? Bruce 'Little Brucey: Aren't you supposed to be in school, young lady? Am I . A little less zzz, a lot more zing. MATILDA Matilda : I thought grown-ups weren't afraid of anything. In . Four COUPLES, crouched down behind the table, begin to stand and speak. endobj When lights come up again, AMANDA is gone. Between you and it, Matilda: Harry Wormwood: . [off to the side] And worst of all, when the girl was five, her father died. To read? Oh, you stupid man. off to prison you both shall go!". My mummy says I'm a miracle, google_ad_format="120x90_0ads_al_s"; One minute in your company, and suddenly I'm thinking of new paint colors. I need a car, inexpensive but reliable. That's the bananas right there. . Why don't you run away? It's not mine! 2. So, erm . Nine times two is eighteen. [her car has broken down] MATILDA Don't listen to them. Miss Honey: google_color_url="320000"; MR WORMWOOD What's the matter, Bogtrotter? It's time you learned the family business. Leave it alone, Jenny. [She puts the book in the cupboard and hurries to the hat rack with a bottle reading "sooper gloo". It's a library book! The CHILDREN and BIG KIDS hang their heads. have you read a whole book? BIG KIDS approach and start climbing onto the gate and grabbing the CHILDREN from behind it. What about the Bi-Annual International Amateur Salsa and Ballroom Dancing Championships? "Right"? Of course I am. It's Miss Honey. Nobody but me is gonna change my story. One times two is two. I didn't go to college. And please don't say "the gym.". One of the novel's antagonists, Mr. Wormwood is Matilda and Michael 's father, and Mrs. Wormwood 's husband. Matilda: 28 of the best book quotes from Matilda. Please, stand, and do as much as you can. MR WORMWOOD takes a mirror that MRS WORMWOOD brandishes. How dare they speak to me like that! That's not fair! Agatha Trunchbull: Dip face! Who would be here to sign for the packages? I'm afraid I've not been too successful in getting others to recognize your . Once in our Cube of Cash, any money that sticks to your gooey body, you get to take home! You listen here, my dear, What? CHILDREN 1 A denizen of the underworld! . [He laughs.] BIG KID [BEN] This living 'eLl. Well, I suppose your mother will be waiting for you. Two BIG KIDS start climbing on the gate, flanking alphabet blocks as they are are pushed through the gate when they are mentioned in the song. You have to stay inside the circle all the time. MRS WORMWOOD Mrs. D? MISS HONEY enters and turns away in shock. Matilda: Matilda: Stories. a contract. Where did you get those? She didn't know. I think they do it deliberately, just to annoy me. Roald Dahl's Matilda The Musical. Now, get out of here, you little stink worm! [She takes a mirror from the armchair.] . MR WORMWOOD You'd better hide! RUDOLPHO dances across the back of the stage. Or - or say you were sued for selling a faulty car. MISS HONEY . Matilda? BRUCE I'll tell ya, six hours a day of school IS NOT enough. Once upon a time, the two greatest circus performers in the world an escapologist who could escape from any lock that was ever invented, and an acrobat who was so skilled it seemed as if she could actually fly fell in love, and got married. It's just pathetic! Six times two is twelve. Now get out. Matilda turns around and carrot is facing her. She sat down, and when she got up . Agatha Trunchbull: 2. I told you I was supposed to start school in September. Bye, Mrs Phelps! What's wrong with the telly? [Looking irritated, she makes her way to BRUCE's side.] Would rob them of their hope of living happily. MATILDA picks up various bottles from the vanity and reads from their labels. MAN: I think he blinked. 'Cause if you're little, you can do a lot. Matilda lies down and flicks off the light. DOCTOR It is delineated into "His" and "Hers" sides.] Well, you got a light. [He slides down on his thighs stage left.]. The police decided he killed himself. LAVENDER MR WORMWOOD That was Miss Honey. . We must find out how it ends. And each night, the children of the town would wait in anticipation, hoping for a glimpse of the shiny white scarf that the acrobat always wore, for then they knew that they had only to cry, "Tricks! I am FULLwhen and onlywhen the Headmistress says I am FULL. She says if I'm keen, I have to cut down on the cream, MR WORMWOOD You couldn't spell "difficulty" if your life depended on it. YoU listen here, my dear, [Matilda and Miss Honey arrive at Miss Honey's cottage]. 'Cause your life as you know it is ancient history. Is the first word . [on the phone, yells] have you read a whole book? Jack and Jill went up the hill As me. [wielding a hammer throw] Could I speak to you for a moment, please? . Platinum blonde hair dye. . 'Cause your life as you know it is "aitcH"-ent history. What? [Daintily, straightening her collar, MISS TRUNCHBULL exits off the front of the stage.]. Wormwood! Mr. Wormwood: One can hardly move for beauty and brilliance these days. My, my, that is good. . Not even when the hammer left my hands See! That's it! I have suffered in this Jail, Dearest pie, how old is Matilda? ACT 1. As long as you dont know it with the volume up. MISS TRUNCHBULL He did what you asked. What on earth did you do that for? Trunchbull: Matilda quotes are certainly quotable for movie fans. Oh, my good Lord! But unleSs you want to suffer, listen up Narrator: MATILDA . 2. Agatha Trunchbull: Oh, cook . And even if you put in heaps of effort, MISS TRUNCHBULL It must be wonderful for a child to be so wanted. Come on!] To survive this mess by being a prince or a princess. . So, starting tomorrow, I shall bring a selection of very clever books that I think will challenge your mind. . She laughs. Matilda: The stage goes black. Well, I'll pay you back, young lady. Spangly ribbons are strung across the stage. My daddy says I'm a bore. We cannot simply place her in the top form with the eleven-year-olds. Knock on the door, Jenny. 5. 125 Best Tinder & Bumble Pick Up Lines That Are Funny, Cute and Totally Flirty Up your online dating game with these sweet one-liners. 1. Good morning, children! I think he blinked. MISS TRUNCHBULL . The Burning Woman, Hurling Through the Air, with Dynamite in Her Hair, Over Sharks and Spiky Objects, Caught by the Man Locked in a Cage will be performed, and performed this day, or . I sold it for $2,269. Harry Wormwood: MATILDA . They line up at the back of the stage. What do you think it took to become English Hammer Throwing Champion 1969? MATILDA Agatha Trunchbull: Or even two, Bruce, Oh, y -, [she notices that the chocolate box lid is opened and hangs up]. I'll come back later, then. MISS TRUNCHBULL One look at my face and it's plain to see. What are you talking about? Shut up! Content has never been less important, so Sign in|Recent Site Activity|Report Abuse|Print Page|Powered By Google Sites. CHILDREN MISS TRUNCHBULL Overall, the best pickup line is one that is creative and original. Dirty dealings, like buying stolen car parts, never stay secret for long, especially when the FBI gets involved. Jenny : Not as brave as you. This is one of the best pick up lines to use after you have hugged someone for the first time. [She re-enters her bedroom and jumps onto the bed.] Miss Honey: LAVENDER Great, big, question-asking . Look, is this gonna take much longer, doctor? Oliver Twist . The more you'll just look like a fool. But if I try I can remeMber, But there was no sign of the Acrobat, and no glimpse at all of her shiny white scarf. . You've gotta learn to listen up, kid. I can! Not a jot! In this classroom, in this school, I am god! Oh, right. Am I wrong? We can have our cake and it it too! She is clearly more emotionally developed than her peers. I think you've got something in your eye. No, it's fine. Of course you didn't do it, you little twit. MISS TRUNCHBULL Knock on the door, Jenny.